Throwing Away New Year's Resolutions

I don't know about you, but I suck at New Year's Resolutions. Every year I excitedly make a list with dreams about how different life could be. Last year, I realized that I don't know if I have ever actually accomplished any of my New Year's Resolutions. Not to say I didn't try, because those first two weeks of January I sure did put forth some effort... 

There are always reasons why my resolutions don't "work out." Maybe my expectations are too high. I don't just set a couple of goals, I set ALL the goals. I expect drastic change. Usually, life happens and the goals get pushed aside for another day. January is pretty much the worst month to start a list of goals, in my opinion. It's cold, I have holiday hang-over, and I generally just want to hibernate. 

Last year was the game changer. As I looked at my long list of goals: cut back social media, de-clutter the house, do yoga, read more (and so on),  I realized that all these things had one thing in common: getting junk out and inviting good in. I decided instead of giving myself a check list of goals to accomplish, I would ask this over and over daily when making decisions: 

Is this beneficial, useful and beautiful, or is this harmful and wasteful? 

This question was exhilarating to me because it was actually something I could accomplish. I decided to apply this question to everything: how I spend my time, how I treat my body, who and what I allow in my life. This question also allowed for change. There are times when eating dessert with my daughter, cuddling with my husband and watching a movie instead of going to the gym is beneficial. This question allowed for other people's needs. Likewise, removing clutter, junk, toxic people and thinking from my day made so much more time and space for what is beneficial. 

I'm not against having goals and making lists of things we want to do and be, but just making the list is not enough for me. I can't keep coming at my goals each year with the same mindset that allowed all my previous lists to be thrown in the trash. Each time there was a set back in my list, it was easier to just quit. 

The goal is for this question to become a way of my daily thinking:  

Is this beneficial, useful and beautiful, or is this harmful and wasteful? 

In 2016, drastic change came in to our lives. In March, my husband was offered a new job. We made the decision to accept the job, to leave a house we hated, get rid of one third of our belongings, and move to the country. We took an inventory of our lives and let go of so much. 

Moving to the country and pursing a whole new path may not be what you are looking for, but for me the realization that mindset is key to changing our lives, not lists and expectations, was key to transformation. It's about how we think and what we tell ourselves every day, and what we allow in to our lives that truly changes things.

It's a couple weeks in to 2017.  In the craziness of all the drastic change in our lives and it our world, my question has been forgotten and junk has edged back in, literally and metaphorically.  Looking at my life and how I spend my time, it's immensely clear that it's time for another mind re-set. The same question needs invited back in to my life. Instead of approaching my days with a set of rules and lists, my only goal is to approach decisions through my day with these questions:

Is this beneficial to my life? Is this useful or beautiful? Is this helping me or others? 

Is this toxic to my life? Is this hurting me or others? Is this wasteful?