You Can Pry My Yoga Pants Off My Cold, Dead Body

Moms get a lot of heat for living in yoga pants and leggings. But let me tell you, there is a reason yoga pants are the best things in the entire world.

I personally have several levels of yoga pants:

• Level  1: Sleeping and Lounging Yoga Pants. Loose fitting and generally worn from 8PM-8AM.
• Level 2: Daytime House Yoga Pants. Tighter fitting, retired and worn, suitable for working around the house (or simply not leaving).
• Level 3: Exercise Yoga Pants (This is a new level for me). New with pretty neon swirls and are for actual exercise. They are then worn the rest of the day so everyone knows I have exercised, and because I don't always have time to shower.
• Level 4: Public Yoga Pants. Newest pair that goes with everything while making my ass look great.
• Level 5: Leggings. When yoga pants aren't appropriate and I need to look cute, leggings are pretty and class it up a bit with a nicer shirt. Level 5 is interchangeable with Level 4 when my yoga pants are just too boring. 

Most days, I level up throughout the day depending on our activities. I decided to put on some "real" pants yesterday. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. I tried to squat and bend and I had no range of motion! All I could think was "GET MY LEGS OUT OF PANTS JAIL!! WHY DO PEOPLE WEAR THESE??" 

This got me thinking about something I hear all the time: Why can't moms just dress like a normal people and wear real pants instead of yoga pants?  Are we just lazy? NOPE. Here's why: BECAUSE WE AREN'T NORMAL PEOPLE WITH NORMAL JOBS. Being home with kids, like any other job, requires work clothes. Parenting work requires specific attire that provides flexibility, full range of motion, easy clean up, and comfort so you can do any of the following: 

• Rescue your kid from the inside of the biggest twisty tube slide at the park
• Sit on the hard bathroom floor for 30 minutes reading stories out loud while waiting for someone else to poop.
• Fold the same load of laundry 3 times.
• Lay on the bedroom floor singing the same song 500 times 
• Get up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down from the floor.
• Get drenched while you aren't even the one actually in the bath tub. 
• Use a baby wipe to clean breast milk, poop, play dough, and unidentifiable green shit off said pants before the cable guy shows up 3 hours late
• Unload a stroller, snacks, a diaper bag, toys (oh, and kids) from the car countless times a day, not to mention groceries or whatever else you have acquired.
• Crawl around on the floor being a puppy, cat, bunny, dragon....
• Attempt to do an exercise dvd while your child climbs all over you, then gives up and cries on the couch until your done.
• Spontaneous dance parties. 
• Pull up pants quickly before your toddler opens the bathroom door in public
• Hide in the closet with your coffee (or wine) and phone
• Sit on the couch with your baby on your chest for hours because if you move they will wake up and the rest of your day is ruined. 
• Clean and clean and clean, then clean all those things again. 
• Get ready in 5 minutes with a toddler destroying the house and a newborn crying.
• Actual yoga (yeah, right)
• Lots of snuggles and playing

Everyone has work clothes, and these are mine, and I will rock them proudly every day because it's an absolute necessity for my real job. My legs hate pants jail, I won't send them back.